Tuesday, February 12, 2008

An Outsiders A to Z of the American Primaries

A is for America, the place where it is all happening. Well specifically, that bit of America sandwiched between Canada and Mexico which waylays the immigrants from the latter on their way to the formers free health care.

B is for Barrack, a noisy rabble rousing cheer when your man gets a nose in front. When your name is Barack its gotta mean something, not too sure what though.

C is for Clinton, the experienced Democrat in the race. But will they respect her in the morning?

D is for Democrat, which has very little, if anything, to do with democracy. Unless of course you’re a Superdelegate.

E is for Election, which has very little, if anything, to do with democracy. Unless you’re a Supreme Court Judge or a one armed bandit pretending to be a ballot paper.

F is for Fovourite, as in American Idol which we are told has a higher recognition factor for its winner than those in these other races.

G is for a Grand Old Party, where they smash everything they touch. Give them enough time and I suspect they could trash the whole barn.

H is for Huckabee, a plate smasher for God.

I is for internet, a noisy place where anyone can, and dose, have their say, mmmmmmm is that democracy?

J is for the old joke, How do you know when a politician is lying?…….. Their mouth is moving.

K is for kleptomania, a handy personal trait for recent incumbents.

L is for Lies, (see J)

M is for Money, the single most important ingredient needed to stand a chance of even being considered.

N is for November, the month that every year hosts a Horse race in Australia and every 4 years in America.

O is for Obama, will the US of A really elect a black President? (See P)

P is for President, traditionally a male WASP, will it really change?

Q is for Quest, the best beggar, sorry fund raiser, gets the nod. (See M)

R is for Republican, (see G)

S is for superdelegate. How the back room boys of the Democratic Party ensure their anointed is chosen over the wishes of the rank and file.

T is for Term, 4 years if you are good, 8 if you’re not.

U is for USA or US of A, the other name for America.

V is for vote, where you get to choose the lesser of two evils.

W is for woman, will the US of A really elect a female President? (See P)

X is for xenophobia, if you have to look it up consider yourself an honoree American

Y is for Yes Man, you gotta repay the man who got you elected. (See M)

Z is for the zzzzzzzz factor included in most political speeches.

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